Are you happy? I mean, are you truly happy with your life? Are you living the life of your dreams or are you waiting for something better to come along?
If we are truly honest with ourselves, most of us are not as happy and satisfied with our lives as we would like. Thoreau said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Most of us have regrets over things we haven’t done, tried or seen. We harbor secret dreams that remain unfulfilled. It’s so sad that in old age, so many people say, “I wish I had done… but it’s too late now.”
So why does this happen to us? Why do so few of us live the life of our dreams? It’s as if our lives are seeds carried on a breeze. We land wherever the wind blows us. Sometimes we land on fertile soil and we flourish. Other times, we land on rocky, barren ground where nothing grows. How does this happen to us? The answer is an indictment on society and on each individual.
We come into this world full of potential, full of wonder and curiosity. We ask questions, always seeking answers. We are never satisfied with just knowing how things are. We want to know why they are and how they came to be. As children, we dream big dreams, never thinking that our dreams can’t be realized. Society allows children to dream because, after all, that is what children do. They dream and they play. Once we enter school, though, all that changes. We are taught by our parents, teachers, clergy and leaders to sit in our chairs, don’t fidget, keep quiet and pay attention. We are taught to stop dreaming, to get serious about our future, to believe in the things and behave in the ways that others want for us.
Society as it is designed requires our conformance. Society needs people to fill roles that serve the greater good. This is why we adopt our parents’ religion, politics, careers, hobbies and interests. This is why so many of us raise our own children in the same way. I have startled myself on more than one occassion by saying something that my father said to me as a boy. After uttering the words from my distant past to my own children, I would reflexively turn around, expecting to see my father standing behind me, stern look on his face. We are creatures of habit and we learned our habits early on in life from those whose sphere of influence we were exosed to.
So society is guilty for supressing our individuality, our creativity, our dreams. But we as individuals are also guilty. After all, we are bestowed with the gift of free will. We have the option to choose our careers, our religion, our politics and our interests. More importantly, we can choose our thoughts. So why don’t more of us do that? Why have we surrendered control of our destiny to others?
Prescious few of us have the strength to resist the will of society and stand for our own convictons. Those who can are leaders. While eulogizing his brother Bobby, Ted Kennedy cited something Bobby often said. “Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.”
This is the kind of thinking that makes people true individuals – makes them leaders. This is the kind of thinking that more of us need to engage in. It is time for us to take control of our lives by thinking freely. When a thought enters your mind, ask yourself if that thought serves you or empowers you in any way. Question where the thought comes from. Is it from your parents, teachers, clergy or political leaders? How do you REALLY feel about that though? Does it resonate with your deepest feelings or is it merely a programmed thought?
In my next post, I’ll continue this topic by exploring some ways in which you can start to control your thoughts and overcome some of the limitations imposed on you by a lifetime of programming. Meanwhile, I would love to hear your comments about this topic.